Meat

"I don't get you vegetarians," my friend teased, "if we weren't supposed to eat animals why are they made out of meat?"

"Good point!" I laughed, boiling and eating him.

Science

What would happen if you took a baby monkey away from its mother and put it in a dark bag, isolating it for a year? The results may not be what you expect. Thanks to science we discovered that monkeys kept alone in dark bags actually end up more depressed than other monkeys.

It may sound cruel to Jane or Joe Average but this experiment led to many major breakthroughs in the field of scientists are assholes.